However, Zoomdweebie’s Check Mate, compared its South American cousins “Rosamonte” or “Nobleza Gaucha,” is a lot lighter, milder and, on the whole, better suited to my Yankee (they say Jhankee) taste. While still retaining its characteristic grassy flavor, it is less overwhelming and has some delightful high and light notes. The lemongrass and lime flavors are a nice, unique touch that adds an energizing “zing.” Though I drank it hot, it seems to be popular as an ice tea at Zoomdweebie’s Tea Bar.

To add to the experience, give the yerba a whiff or two before adding hot water. It smells great.

This tea would also be perfect for beginners who are interested in exploring the mate tradition, but aren’t quite ready for the more bitter and thicker, though probably more “authentic,” South American yerba brands. Personally, I liked Zoomdweebie’s mate better anyway. If you’re tired of traditional teas and are looking for a change in taste, Zoomdweebie’s Check Mate is an excellent place to start.

Its “flavor notes” stay in a constant, predictable and lovely rhythm that never changes, besides a strong ending that leaves the mouth a bit dry. I’d bet this tea would be a great for having with/after dessert.

Another thing I noticed is that, even after it is no longer warm, it still keeps its fullness and flavor. No doubt this would make an impeccable iced tea.

Though I tend to prefer teas that are less dry and more rhythmic, this blend is done so well done that I’ll be calling India for Ayra Ruby soon.

I am not saying this because Archer Farms’ products are a Target Corporation exclusive. In fact, I went through a rather long period (about three days) of torturous self-doubt and introspective “motive-checking” to make sure a subconscious tea-snobbery wasn’t sneaking up on me and ruining the integrity of this teaview. The old maxim still holds true: The truth will set you free.

So here’s the truth on this tea.

Pros (there’s only one): Kind of like Bruce Lee or a Ford pick-up truck, no one’s ever going to accuse this tea on being weak.

Well, not exactly… one could accuse this tea on being weak on “awesomeness.”

Cons (there are a bunch): DRY DRY DRY! In fact, not only does this tea lack moisture, it seems to absorb it from the human mouth (Like a sponge! Amazing, but gross!). No, this is not a bad UFO movie, this is the consequence of a super-so-so tea.
Usually, the dryness in a tea (even in the “blah” varieties) fades, at least a little, before the tea is swallowed. In Archer Farms’ version, the dryness seems to pick up speed in a most dissatisfying and (frankly) frightening way.

As a result, this tea is unable to have any rhythm whatsoever. What I mean by rhythm is a change in tones throughout the duration of a “sip and swallow.” Most good teas have a certain complexity and flow, which, if in harmony, can be very interesting and enjoyable. Unfortunately, this level of dryness robs the tea of any chance of rhythm, making it a very boring blend.

However, if you are tired of buying tea from trendy labels, are running low on cash or want to support big company store-brands (or a combination of either or all of those reasons), I would bet Archer Farms’ Earl beats Safeway’s or Rite Aid’s (if they have their own) store- blend.

With SinceriTEA,
DL

What I like about it most is its roundness and rhythm, but we’ll get to that later.

What’s most apparent at first is its immediate warmth. This may sound like I’m stating the obvious, given that most tea is supposed to be warm. Yet, what’s unusual about this particular blend is at the beginning of each sip, you cannot taste any flavor. I liked this part.

I know you might think I’m crazy, but this is not a bad thing. It only lasts a fraction of a second. I like to think of it as a nice way to prepare the palate for rushing rhythm and flavor that will soon follow it.

Here’s what happens next:
Roundness (a full-bodied feel) develops, picks up speed quickly and “rolls” into well harmonized undulating under and overtones. This lasts for a majority of the time between each “sip and swallow.”
At the end, if you let some of the tea sit on your tongue, you will notice that it gradually dries out. I found that the waves on a beach work as a convenient metaphor. It moves quickly, then stops, then flattens, then dries.

Apart from the pleasing rhythm, it had a nice full-bodied flavor and softness. There is almost a sweetness to it which I found refreshing. As you probably know, this balance is hard to come by, nowadays.

The only thing I noticed was that it didn’t have much of an aroma. This isn’t a bad thing, and one might argue that it allows for truer drinking. However, I like a bit of jazz (tea scent, nothing illegal!) up my nose.

True to its written-in-corny-text-across-its-unoriginal-container word, its grassy notes are harmoniously high (though never sharp). I found it to be an especially nice touch that allows the tea the characteristic of remaining traditional while being slightly different.

Its “hazelnut finish” ends each flavor-stream nicely, in a quiet, low-key manner. Most importantly, the tea itself was not overwhelmed by its accompanying colors (in the metaphorical sense), but remained consistently dominant with a controlled fullness that some may be tempted to call “friggin awesome.” This important and rare quality (that, as we all know, marks only the best of teas) is worth cherishing for “a sec.”

LET US NOW OBSERVE A MOMENT OF SILENCE IN PRAISE OF THIS TEA’S BEAUTY

(MOMENT)

DONE.
I suppose it may seem like a silly thing to do, but I believe that all good things, especially increasingly- rare good things, should not go unnoticed or “un-meditated” upon.
For example, I once bought “Green Tea with Rose ” tea that tasted only like rose buds. This really annoyed me, because if I wanted to drink rose buds I would have bought rose bud (hip) tea (not green tea with rose), or just stolen some flowers from my neighbor’s yard and thrown them into some boiling water. However, to be “fair and balanced,” I should have known better since the tea was from Hawaii. As we all know, Hawaii is a very flowery place. The other thing is that the tea was really, really cheap (in both cost and quality). Another thing that might have affected my tasting ability was the fact that I had recently watched the movie “Citizen Kane” (just kidding).
Anyway, back to the review.
The tea’s near-perfect harmony allows for its lively and sensuous rhythm. Unlike other, lesser teas, this one doesn’t “fall flat” on the tongue, but moves effortlessly into different “tones” throughout the duration of time between each sip and swallow. If you don’t believe me and/or think I’m full of it, try it yourself.

P.S. …œ I recommend drinking Rishi’s Organic Snow Buds White Tea while listening to Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 28 in A or any Pink Floyd song (though it won’t make you hallucinate and see pink monkeys or anything…).