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Old 04-25-2009, 04:54 AM
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Default Cheeky Monkey's Hand Picked Teas

Okay, here's the drill...
I've started with the teas we've mentioned in the past few days. It's up to all of us to go in and add descriptions for these, and new teas and new descriptions. You have a great name but no description? Post it anyway and my hunch is that someone else's fevered imagination will add what is needed.
If you feel called to do it, add departments and divisions, this is a group creation. I'll start with three basics.
The only thing is, please copy the whole tea list when you do a new post. That way we have a complete, ongoing record of all the teas currently being offered or worked on at our incredible fantasy tea shop....

Cheeky Monkey's Hand Picked Teas

Teas Needing Descriptions
Jumpin' Jabberwock White, I so declare!
Ceylon and Thanks for All the Fish.
Yeti-Picked Snowy Mountain Green
Op-Assam Pear Surprise...
Berry, Berry Bandersnatch
Dark Wombat
Bandicoot Brownish
Black Wombat
Darkish Civet Cat.
Wallaby White
Epic Ninja Surprise Attack

Descriptions Needing Names
an Assam transplanted to Australia by particularly forward looking jailbirds



Teas We Are Pleased To Offer
AERIAL ASSAULT ASSAM - our newest acquisition
This full-bodied black tea comes from the Nile delta. A specialty treasured by the local Bedouin, it originated when travel-weary pigeons with no sense of direction, fell, exhausted, on Middle Eastern soil. They were carrying tea branches from India. The pigeons expired, but the tea lived.
The same family whose goats discovered coffee had camels who discovered this tea. Used mostly for keeping the camels awake on long treks, it was a zealously guarded secret for many years. News spread when small amounts started showing up for sale in the souks at astronomical prices, roughly equivalent to two camels per pound of tea.
Only palatable with the addition of copious amounts of sugar and rancid goat's milk, this unique tea (and we mean unique) is a must-have for the tea cognoscenti with money to burn and no taste. Limited amounts available.
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Last edited by Patty : 04-26-2009 at 09:03 AM.
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  #2  
Old 04-25-2009, 09:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patty View Post

Cheeky Monkey's Hand Picked Teas

Teas Needing Descriptions
Jumpin' Jabberwock White, I so declare!
Ceylon and Thanks for All the Fish.
Yeti-Picked Snowy Mountain Green
Op-Assam Pear Surprise...
Berry, Berry Bandersnatch
Dark Wombat
Bandicoot Brownish
Black Wombat
Darkish Civet Cat.
Wallaby White
Epic Ninja Surprise Attack

Descriptions Needing Names
an Assam transplanted to Australia by particularly forward looking jailbirds



Teas We Are Pleased To Offer
AERIAL ASSAULT ASSAM - our newest acquisition
This full-bodied black tea comes from the Nile delta. A specialty treasured by the local Bedouin, it originated when some travel-weary pigeons, with no sense of direction, fell, exhausted, on Middle Eastern soil. They were carrying tea branches from India. The pigeons expired, but the tea lived.
The same family whose goats discovered coffee had camels who discovered this tea. Used mostly for keeping the camels awake on long treks, it was a zealously guarded secret for many years. News was bound to spread when small amounts started showing up in the souks for sale at astronomical prices, roughly equivalent to two camels per pound of tea.
Only palatable with the addition of copious amounts of sugar and rancid goat's milk, this unique tea (and we mean unique) is a must-have for the tea cognoscenti with no taste and money to burn. Limited amounts available.
The Op-Assam Pear Surprise is obviously the Assam transplanted to Australia by particularly forward looking jailbirds.

How could it not be!? *heh*

Yeti-Picked Snowy Mountain Green

From the territory where the Zu Mountain Ranges and Himalayas connect, just at the foot of Shambhala, comes a unique blend offering all that high altitudes have in store. Hoof-trampled by mountain goats, claw-picked by mythical snowmen, and plucked with ninja-quickness by specially-trained uber-Sherpas; this upper elevation green tea, blended with a bit of snowfrost, provides sustenance and a desparate need for oxygen.

Available now while supplies (and Sherpas) last.
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Old 04-25-2009, 10:00 AM
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Yeti-Picked Snowy Mountain Green
From the territory where the Zu Mountain Ranges and Himalayas connect, just at the foot of Shambhala, comes a unique blend offering all that high altitudes have in store. Hoof-trampled by mountain goats, claw-picked by mythical snowmen, and plucked with ninja-quickness by specially-trained uber-Sherpas; this upper elevation green tea, blended with a bit of snowfrost, provides sustenance and a desparate need for oxygen.
Available now while supplies (and Sherpas) last.

ROFLMAO!
So this is a tea that is so good it suffocates you? After first giving you a very real experience of being chased through the Himalayas by mountain goats, yeti, and deranged uber-Sherpas?
I'm in. Pass me the rancid yak butter.
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:14 PM
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Glorious Limited Reserve Japanese Ninja-Picked Yagyu Matcha

Operating on the sound principle that anything done by ninjas is automatically better, our staff carefully selected the infamous Yagyu family of certified Japanese stealth assassins to take command of the well-known Maruichi Green Tea Farm by slaughtering all its workers and their families. Making skillful use of their shuriken throwing knives or neko-te cat's claws, our ninjas, clad in black and cloud gray, carefully remove and gather only the tenderest buds and the top two leaves of new growth, all in the depths of darkest night or foggy twilight to avoid detection. Under the cover of smoke bombs, they gather the tea leaves as they fall toward the ground, employing their characteristic feline swiftness to do so, and then take the leaves to their hidden lair for processing. There, using appropriately named tetsubo clubs, they pulverize the leaves into the finest matcha.

Because ninjas are few and hard to find (and live to tell about it), our stock of this Glorious Limited Reserve Japanese Ninja-Picked Yagyu Matcha is very rare and valuable, and may be purchased only with gold bullion. Whistle in the way of the nightingale, at your window at midnight, for more details.

Last edited by Steven : 04-25-2009 at 12:39 PM.
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  #5  
Old 04-25-2009, 04:50 PM
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This thread made my life complete, and I can die happy now. Thanks, guys.

Last edited by Katie : 04-25-2009 at 04:54 PM.
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Old 04-26-2009, 08:38 AM
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I'm glad you're enjoying it, Katie, but we are SO not done here. I hope.
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Old 04-26-2009, 09:14 AM
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Yeah, Katie, your turn to contritube to the wee project.

You too, Troy...Jamie...whoever else...

Don't TELL me you guys don't have idears. *hehe*

Last edited by Geoff : 04-26-2009 at 09:16 AM.
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  #8  
Old 04-26-2009, 07:41 PM
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"Where'd You Go, Anyway?! Wu-Yi" is our specially formulated and super scientifically proven diet tea taking first in class in the World Championship of Diet Teas Competition. By simply drinking 12 to 16 cups of our award winning Where'd You Go Wu-Yi daily, within a month you will not only have lost those unwanted pounds, but you will in fact disappear completely.
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Old 04-26-2009, 07:50 PM
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Dragonsmell Green (Strong Zing)- Dragons are fine and even well, we agree, but let's not forget one of the most outstanding characteristics of any dragon of true merit - their widely feared dragon breath! Our Dragonsmell Green Strong Zing is truly an experience you will want to partake of. The deeply dragon-y smoky smell can only be achieved by an entire tea estate being fried from above by a sneaky dragon coming out of his lair in the wee hours of the morning, devastating everything in sight with his wicked dragon breath. While it is true that huge numbers of people may be fired along with the tea itself (hence, this cannot be considered a fair trade tea, though we are working on an independent certification) we feel that this fact adds to the general ambience and gives our Dragonsmell its special flavor, a crossing of traditional toasty and grassy notes with a seared and somewhat unmentionable overtone of charred dragon devestation. Strong Zing will burn your bacon, no matter what time of day you choose to indulge.
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Old 04-26-2009, 11:15 PM
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I'll jump on the description bandwagon sometime this week when I'm feeling more creative.
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